I’m going to give a heads-up right now that this journal doesn’t have a question in it, per se, just some interesting news….
Things have been pretty intense since I got back from my foreign country. If you regularly read my blog, you know about my dear boyfriend, who waited for a very long time for me while I was off in foreign places. When I came back, he took me on a special trip and PROPOSED, which I did not see coming. We have been together for a long time, so it’s not outlandish that we’d be engaged now, but it still seems weird (probably since we’ve been together for so long as boyfriend/girlfriend). Also, somebody give this kid props because he picked out a gorgeous ring. And he went for some pretty deep symbolism in it, and when he explained it, I realized again how much my significant other is the kind of ideal in many ways that a lot of women spend a long time searching for. So I feel very lucky.
The interesting part about getting engaged was that, in the car on this trip, I was telling him about the full moon ritual I’d done (in a somewhat uncertain way, since honestly, I think he’s still getting used to this path I’m going on, and he doesn’t exactly know what to make of it), and yet, despite how strange it probably all sounded, he asked me to marry him later that day.
The high of the moment doesn’t last forever, though, and when we got home from our short trip, and we finished celebrating with my family, reality sort of crashed in. Now I have to plan a wedding–a wedding that my mom, the Catholic who doesn’t know anything about my spirituality, will be overseeing and contributing to and helping finance. I realized that now I have a finite amount of time either to tell her about my path or to just suck it up and keep it intensely secret. My fiance thinks that there’s no reason to tell my mom if I don’t want to, but…I mean, guys, she wants me to have a Catholic wedding in a Catholic church with a Catholic priest. And definitely–at the absolute least, like if I have an outdoor wedding–she wants a member of the clergy to officiate. I think my family might combust if I don’t have the clergy involved. (My aunt literally said to me, “But the clergy is going to be involved in some way, right?”) And my fiance’s mom is even MORE staunchly Christian.
I’m not sure what I should do. On one hand, I want to have a really classic wedding, with beautiful flower sprays and a gorgeous dress and everything. It’s been my dream since I was a kid. But now that it’s real, and I want to think about how my spirituality is involved in such a huge event, maybe I want some tradition that plays more into my path. Maybe a handfasting, or something.
Or perhaps I should separate the two. I’ve heard of people doing handfastings a year and a day before their scheduled wedding, as a sort of extra engagement. Maybe I could have a very small, adorable little Pagan handfasting, and then my wedding will be for the people, Biblical rhetoric and all. I mean, I still don’t think I could manage having it in a Catholic church (my fiance isn’t Catholic, either), but I understand compromising with my mom on this one.
If any of you guys have had a handfasting or been to a Pagan wedding, let me know what it was like or if you have any suggestions.
By the way, this week the Pagan Perspective channel on YouTube is doing a video inspired by my blog (THANKS GUYS!). Head on over to their channel to check them out.
I hope you’re all having a beautiful summer (and Lammas/Lughnasadh if you celebrate it!).