Year and a Day Journal #21: February 17th, 2016

How fitting that on this day, when I’m going to be discussing Goal of the Witch #5: Achieve balance, I couldn’t even come up with the resolve to not hork down more than one chocolate bar.

Truth be told, there is a lot to say on this topic.  I think, perhaps because I am in the broom closet, there might be even more to say on this topic than if I were an “out” Witch.  Closeted Witches…I feel like we have to be balanced in who we tell certain details to, who we share our excitement with….  You can’t just ecstatically talk about a ritual you did or a sabbat you celebrated.  Every comment is measured, which can be a really tricky thing.

It’s not just comments, though.  Maybe you’d love to celebrate a sabbat with a group, but your parents don’t know about your beliefs.  Maybe you want to keep an altar, but your boyfriend would freak out.  None of these are particularly great situations, but they do happen.  You have to decide what’s the most important to you in these moments–maybe all you can do is have a couple of statues on a table instead of having a full-on altar.  Maybe you have to celebrate the sabbat on your own or in secret.

Sometimes it even comes down to your old beliefs versus your new beliefs.  For example, if you’ve read some of my other posts, you know my family–especially my mom–is Catholic.  The chances are, even if I stay on this path and someday tell her about my beliefs, she will likely always be Catholic.  That means that I will probably still go to Catholic mass sometimes; that means that my mom will disagree with me on certain aspects of faith; that means that when my mom dies, her funeral will be in a Catholic church where the priest will be saying that her soul is probably okay because she was a great Catholic mom (this is what happened at my grandma’s funeral).  Or, perhaps if her daughter is an “out” Witch, nobody will be saying she’s a great Catholic mom (because obviously she didn’t pass on her faith well enough to her family) and that could put her soul in jeopardy, according to the Church.  Woo-hoo.  As unpleasant as all of this sounds, it’s always going to be a part of my life, and really the only thing to do is roll up my sleeves and deal with it.

Of course, there are other kinds of balance that need to be achieved, as well, and these don’t just apply to the closeted Witches.  Finding the balance between the elemental energies in my life is something that I hope to work toward.  From reading Ellen Dugan’s various books, it seems elemental blockages tend to be some of the causes of problems in our lives.  By working toward achieving elemental balance, other types of balance might naturally fall into place–the balance between exercise and relaxation, nutrition and indulgence, work and play–the list is probably endless.

I don’t know why this particular post took me so long to write.  I think it’s because, at the moment, my life does feel horribly unbalanced.  I’m living far apart from everyone I know and love, my eating habits are garbage, my Internet addiction is pretty awful…it’s probably a good thing that I’ll only be here for one year (unless something drastic happens) because recovery from one year of spinning too fast is easier than trying to fix it somewhere down the line.  I’m hoping that going back home will somehow slow me down a little, and I can find my proper footing again.

Blessed be!

)O(

 

 

 

 

 

 

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