Year and a Day Journal #10: November 10th, 2015

Ah sheesh, it’s December already and I’m only on day 10.

Progress progress progress progress….

Anyway, I suppose I’ve been putting off this entry for a bit because it’s tricky.  The prompt for today is: Take in the essence of the moon.  Describe the connection you feel to her.  Do the same for the sun.

Er…alrighty then…

I don’t know how other people studying this path feel when they get asked a question like this, because you know, having grown up in a certain life where the moon didn’t really matter whatsoever, most nights I’m like, What connection with the moon?? and then I put on my sweatpants and eat chocolate and scroll Pinterest until I fall asleep like that.  I didn’t grow up doing moon salutations or sun salutations or having anything more than a casual acquaintance with the night sky.  So even though I recognize now the connection I should probably be making with the moon, sometimes I kinda forget that it’s magic(k)al.

To be honest, it doesn’t help that where I’m living currently is pretty much the end of the Earth.  I rarely get to see celestial bodies.  The moon made a little appearance for the night that it was full, but most of the time it’s too much of a sliver to make it through the really tenacious clouds, or for me to even figure out where it should be in the sky.  And because I’m so far north, with the sun coming up at approximately 9:30 am and setting at about 4:00, it’s like…seriously, what celestial bodies are we speaking of?

Of course, I know they’re there.  And when I manage to get my butt outside before the sun gets too low (I work in the evenings, so I have zero motivation to leave my apartment at a decent time of day), I do enjoy the hazy gray light that kind of just settles on everything.  Once or twice in the last month we’ve gotten some direct sunlight, which produced a brief moment of elation within me before it was slowly eaten up by the clouds and the rotation of the Earth.

I guess during times like this, I’ve got to think back to the summer.  My first summer of Witchery.  As I’ve said before, I only started my foray into Witchcraft as January rolled in, so the summer was something special.  I remember my first full moon being home from college.  I think I had gone for a walk late at night by myself, and, upon realizing that the moon was full, I got home and ran inside.  I got my Tarot cards from my secret drawer and an antique blue bottle that I filled up with water before taking it outside.  Along the street, there were lights that were casting this awful orange-y glow on everything, but if I went halfway between them, the light that reached me was pretty much pure moon.  I stood there in the street, in the middle of the freaking street, at exactly midnight, holding the bottle so that the silver light was refracting through the glass, and holding my Tarot deck so that they were bathed in the moonlight.  And even though I had no idea what I was doing, I started speaking a poem about the moon offering her light to cleanse my tools.  It was like the first moment of Witchery, and when the midnight moment had broken, and I figured it was time to go inside before my mom was wondering where the heck I was (or before the neighbors saw me and called the cops), I stuffed my Tarot cards and the moon water under my shirt (so as to not be spoiled by the artificial lights) and I put the moon water under my altar table (which was cleverly disguised as a functioning bedside table.  The tone of that one is sarcasm because basically it was truly a bedside table).

I also remember Litha, which was really cool because it was a Sunday (so double the sun!!), but unfortunately I worked that day.  So I only got to enjoy a fraction of the time outdoors before I went in and spent my whole evening in super-bright retail lights.  I do remember, though, as I walked out of the store around 9:00 pm, watching the last light of the sun going away, and knowing that I had had at least a moment to enjoy the sun in its glory, and be thankful for its shining on me, and thankful for that moment in its full power before it would start to die away.

Lastly, during a different full moon in the summer, my best friend and fellow nature-lover (though not a Pagan), whom I will affectionately call Ibis (because one day I saw an ibis and I immediately thought of her–and her spirit is like a bird), came to visit me.  Very late at night again, toward the hour when the moon was supposedly the fullest, we snuck outside with a bunch of my journals that I wanted to cleanse before my trip abroad, and some other ritual-type things.  For example, I brought a round candle, which seemed very moony, and a piece of an oyster/clam/aquatic type shell that I had found on the river bank one day while riding my bike.  I also brought the moon water I had blessed the first full moon at home, and my Tarot deck.  We sat in the middle of the cal-de-sac, staring up at the moon, and saying the chant that I had written down from my first impromptu full moon ritual, and I seriously was just making it up as I went, but it was pretty powerful in its own way.  I remember that Ibis took it seriously, which I really did/do appreciate, and maybe she really did believe that she was working with the moon, too.  (Ibis, you know who you are, if you ever wanna be Pagan, girl, let’s study together and stuff; we’ll be the nature-iest, cutest Witches ever, and when we get tired of the mosquito bites, we’ll cuddle on your cloud mattress like we used to in college.)  She really took one for the team that night, because I got this sudden urge to put some water in the clam shell, and I was like, “Ready?” and straight-up poured the water on our heads like we were getting baptized.  She just said, “Brr,” and didn’t complain (like I said, we are BEST FRIENDS).  Again, I have no idea where the desire came from; I think I just make this stuff up as I go mostly, but it ended up being pretty cool and symbolic, to be honest.

Anyway, I can’t talk forever on the moon and sun, but sometimes it’s really hard to feel Witchy, especially when all plant life is dormant and even the sky is hibernating under a thick blanket.  I guess I just have to look back at what I’ve done in the past, and try to channel that feeling.  The moon and sun really do offer me something.  I think I’m just on a quest to find out what that is.

)O(

(Triple Goddess!!!)

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